66Sexy's Sexy Journal of (CENSORED) that's Totally (CENSORED) Awesome

Okay, so while I'm still trashed let's talk about Cryptopsy. I don't yet know how metal-friendly this site is, but Cryptopsy are a landmark brutal death metal band whose savagery is nearly unparalleled, and whose technicality (which I generally don't care about unless it's awesome) allows for some of the most textured and adventurous riffs by any death metal band who are more concerned with brutalizing your brain than being wanky bull artists. Pretty much if you want the most extreme death metal then you're solid. If your idea of death metal is Cannibal Corpse then expect to have your mind blown. If you're a massive Linkin Park fan ( Chester cause he sucks) then you're okay, but Cryptopsy will still have your ass on a silver platter and eat it while you watch.

First album, Blasphemy Made Flesh, is a blistering brutal death metal album that takes the genre to new heights of technicality, riff savagery, and vocal insanity. It's intense and mean and doesn't like your grandmother any more than I do.





Do you know what happens when a brutal death metal band takes everything from their brilliant debut and ups the ante by a factor of 11? You get None So Vile. An album that is death metal personified and that is almost a necessity whenever I smoke a bowl. It's savagery is nearly unparalleled, it's riffs are mind bogglingly insane and off-the-wall, its vocals are the definition of sick nasty, and it's just in general a benchmark of all things brutal and butthurt. All hail Lord Wyrm and your mother's inevitable sexual violation. I can basically throw this album on at any time of the day or night and my neighbors will get dead and be happier for it.




Sadly, after None So Vile the band would lose vocalist Lord Wyrm and never find a suitable replacement. Third album Whisper Supremacy would be Cryptopsy at its usual extreme, but with a vocalist more suited to a 90s hardcore band. He was fine I guess, and musically Cryptopsy was as ever tight and violent as all , but at this point you could be forgiven for throwing their first two albums on repeat and calling it a day. But this album still rules so don't do that . Or do. You'll still be alright I guess.




Their next album would be when their sound more fully meshed with their new hardcore vocalist, but since no one wants to hear what in hindsight would sound like a deathcore Cryptopsy... I mean who the cares? You can listen to it and not hate it, but it's just watered down Cryptopsy for a fanbase that didn't care and a future fanbase that didn't exist and wouldn't care anyway cause they still were brutal death metal and not deathcore. That would come... ugh... later. I could say good things about ...And then You'll Beg, but it would just be praising the superiority of their early work to be honest.




As far as I know this is the last Cryptopsy album worth talking about. I love love love their first two albums, but after that they're kind of mediocre at best. Once Was Not features the temporary return of Lord Wyrm as vocalist, but I guess due to his exuberant disregard for his vocal chords on earlier albums his voice is a shadow of its former self, which was basically death metal vocals squared. It's an improvement on Mike DiSalvo, but only just to be honest, and the band had lost their early brilliance by this point so that it's Cryptopsy in memory, even if there was a bit more diversity to try to make up. It's still a pretty good album, but you can skip it if you just want more None So Vile. But as far as brutal death metal savagery goes you're still in better company than many of its contemporaries. But for Cryptopsy fans it's still a rare later-era highlight.





The Unspoken King is the album that Cryptopsy fans will say broke the band, but I mean... it's brutal and all, and kills some ... but yeah... it's really just another in a line if diminishing results. It's just death metal ad nauseum with a lot of dumb for Suicide Silence fans, even if it's not the deathcore sellout that a lot of meatheads would tell you it is. It's just a vastly mediocre Cryptopsy release that is a more or less as much of a blemish on their career as anything else past Whisper Supremacy. Maybe if you're a boring tech head who cares more about technicality than musical awesomeness than actual good music then maybe it's a lowpoint, but if you're not an then it's just a boring Cryptopsy album.




I can't even find an album video for their last, self-titled album, but I kind of don't care. Unless you're someone who fawns over their drummer's technical ability then this is just the next Cryptopsy release. By this point they've long since become irrelevant and this album is not really any better other than being a bit more death metal and a bit less deathcore but it this is still pointless. For a post about how awesome Cryptopsy is, this has basically been about how their first two albums were the and everything after wasn't, but that's really all that matters, so the bull and blast Blasphemy Made Flesh and None So Vile cause for death metal fans that's all you need to do forever.

This wasn't as sexy or awesome as I hyped it to be

Noobs with no staying power

Just think as what she could be doing to your 'nail'

Mrs. Siggy says, "Making it smell like an ashtray?"

+1
And she doesn't want it smelling like an ashtray